How to Set Boundaries with Confidence Whenever You Need

Setting boundaries is a healthy part of any relationship you have with another person, whether it’s with your family, friends, significant other, etc. In this guide, you’ll learn how to set boundaries with confidence, which can help you build more positive relationships with people.

Check out this guide on boundary setting, with a step-by-step list of how to do so. Plus, check out the phrases you can use, ways to reduce guilt, tips to make it easy to include in your daily life, and more! 

What are Boundaries

Boundaries are meant to establish limits meant to protect your inner peace and keep you, and others, content. There are personal boundaries, which can include physical contact, personal space, and verbal interaction. These can fall into different categories: workplace, time, emotional, or physical, and can differ in different settings. Workplace boundaries are going to look different than home boundaries or boundaries when visiting others and hanging out with friends.

The Importance of Boundaries

Boundaries are personal, with differences and nuance for every individual. They make life more comfortable but are not always easy to set up. When we are younger, boundaries tend to be decided for us (e.g. having to go to the family gathering and hug your aunt, having a dress code, etc.). 

As we grow, this may make it difficult to establish boundaries, as we are used to changing ourselves to make others more comfortable. Boundaries are needed though to prevent stress, discomfort, anxiety, and arguments. Other people cannot guess what is going on in your mind. Establishing limits is good for healthy communication that can make interaction better for everyone.

How to Set Boundaries with Confidence

Here is a step-by-step guide that can help you set boundaries with confidence and ease in any situation!

1. Identify Your Boundaries

The most important step here is the first one. Reflect on your needs and identify what boundaries you want. Understand your motivation and reasons for your boundaries. This can keep you from setting unnecessary ones.

2. Be Straightforward and Clear

There is no need to be vague in your conversation when setting boundaries. This is bound to be confusing for you and the other person involved. Instead, try to say what you mean, without apologizing. 

3. Be Polite and Calm

Staying calm in such a situation can keep it from escalating. Establishing boundaries is not a fight, it is a dialogue with open communication from both parties. It is also never an excuse for personal attacks from either person. Setting your boundaries is not a chance to express anger and frustration. Instead, give your boundary, and your reason, and be open to communication.

4. Stay Firm

Your feelings and experiences are valid. Though others may not mean harm, you may perceive certain things as harmful to you. If that is the case, then after setting your boundary, you should maintain it. This helps you feel less uncomfortable and gives the other person a clear idea of your needs and values.

5. Address Future Issues

If there is an issue in the future with someone stepping over your boundary, it is important to address it very early and very quickly. This makes it known that this is still a boundary you need to respect. It is okay for boundaries to change in the future, but it is yours to set, adjust, or maintain.

6. Trust Yourself

Self-awareness and reflection are key for healthy boundaries. Make sure you trust your intuition, pay attention to your feelings, and trust your gut.

7. Maintain a Support System

Boundaries can be tough to set up! Make sure you have a support system that you can rely on and discuss with if you feel comfortable. Rely on friends, family, professional help, etc., to ensure you are overcoming a challenging time. This can even be the person you are setting boundaries with sometimes.

Phrases to Set Boundaries

Here are 10 phrases you can use to help you set boundaries with confidence in any scenario.

• I need to prioritize myself and my time right now.
• I need to balance work and personal life better, so it would be best to pass on this.
• My current situation requires my full attention, so I need to say no for now.
• I have realized that my health and wellbeing need to be my focus right now.
• I appreciate and value you, so I want to be transparent with my limits.
• Thank you for understanding that I need time for myself.
• I appreciate what you are saying, but I need to pass on this right now.
• I want to protect my energy and listen to my needs, so I have to say no.
• I appreciate you, but wanted to clarify this about me.
• I want to prioritize my feelings, so I wanted to express this to you.

Quick Tips for Boundary Setting

Finally, here are tips that can help you set boundaries and let others know what crossing the line is with you.

• Be clear and concise – it is important to communicate wants and needs as clearly and simply as possible.
• Start small – it can be scary to go big right away with boundary setting. Start small, focus on one issue, and work your way up to other things gradually.
• Set goals – ask yourself and reflect on what matters to you, what you need, and what you want from interaction with others.
• Say no – learn to say no when you need to. Another part of this is accepting when others say no as well.

The Takeaway

Boundaries are important in our lives. They prevent stress, discomfort, anxiety, and anger from building up in you. They are needed to protect both emotional and physical wellbeing, so make sure you follow this guide to learn how to set boundaries with confidence.

Health comes from within, so eat well, exercise daily, and take care of your mental health. Good habits form building blocks for emotional, mental, and physical health. Take care of your gut health too! Learn everything you need to know about gut microbiota today for free here.