Skip Self Love For Now, Try This Instead – a Complete Guide on Self Respect
Everyone is constantly gushing about self-love, which is great if you can actually reach for those feelings. Self-love is lovely but challenging when you don’t even like yourself. Instead, it might be better to practice self-respect.
Here’s a guide to help you appreciate your body, mind, and spirit. You don’t have to force self-love or practice toxic positivity to change. Negative emotions towards yourself don’t disappear with just a couple of positive affirmations. On days when it feels harder to love yourself, self-respect is there. Find out how to utilize the power of self-respect and check out the tips at the end on different habits and tricks you can use to practice it immediately.
What is Self-Love
Self-love is a state in which you appreciate and love yourself. This can range from your physical features, your mental state, your personality, etc. Self-love is associated with individuals who take care of themselves and put themselves first. This is different from narcissism and ego since those stem from the belief that you are better than others.
Benefits
Self-love is good for improving ourselves and our mental, emotional, and physical growth. Thinking we are worthy and worth caring about helps us make better decisions and reach our goals through passion and drive. Self-love can become our state of being that fuels our spirit to greater heights.
Challenges
So, self-love is awesome and everyone should have it but what do you do when you don’t even like yourself? Jumping from feeling bad about yourself to feeling good about yourself is a big leap. What do you do when it feels like you don’t want to be you anymore when all you can focus on is things you would change about yourself? That is where self-respect comes into play.
What is Self Respect
Self-respect is when you actively treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. It doesn’t have to do with forcing yourself to be negative and it doesn’t require you to enjoy it. Self-respect is just acknowledging that you are worthy because you exist. You are you and that simple fact means that you deserve respect, from others and from yourself.
Again, self-respect doesn’t need to force positivity. It can be something as simple as:
- My hands helped me when I worked today, and I appreciate them.
- I like the way my legs got me from one place to another.
- I exist and therefore I am worthy of respect.
- It is okay to be a work in progress.
- It is okay to still be growing and changing.
- I will respect myself and say no when I need to.
- I will set boundaries and enforce them for my own good.
Phrases such as this allow you to be more neutral in regard to yourself. On days when you feel more negative, take a moment and actively stop yourself. Think about the fact that you deserve respect. Breathe deeply, try a calming meditation such as this one here, and aim for neutrality and self-respect.
The Relation to Self-Care
All of this relates to the act of self-care in a very important way. Self-care is when you take care of yourself. It is doing something that benefits you. When you love yourself self-care comes naturally. You are taking on the role of providing things you need for your happiness and wellbeing.
Self-care can be physical, mental, or emotional. You might make a healthy smoothie to nourish yourself or you might eat an extra piece of dessert. Maybe you want to treat yourself to a massage or by yourself an extra fluffy blanket. These are all acts of self-care that help you feel better. Self-care is not just one thing. Self-care can look different for different individuals.
Challenges of Self-care
If you don’t have self-love, it’s very hard to practice self-care. If you think negatively about yourself, these insecurities can impact the way you act towards yourself. If you compare yourself to others and find yourself lacking, you’re less likely to think you deserve good things.
At other times, we might set unnecessarily high expectations of ourselves. We may treat others better than we treat ourselves, put others first, and put ourselves down. We deserve the same kindness and respect towards ourselves that we give other people. Just by existing, we deserve care, happiness, and love. I acknowledge this, self-respect helps us to start taking care of ourselves more and more.
The Different Between Self Love, Self Care, and Self Respect
As stated previously, self-love is amazing, but not within reach immediately. If you feel bad about yourself, it can be hard to find things you love. However, when you focus on something like respect, this is much more attainable.
Self-love is appreciation and love towards yourself. It is a great way to nurture mental wellness and positive feelings. Self-respect is simply honoring and acknowledging who you are in the present moment. By using self-respect, we may start to better take care of ourselves with self-care acts. By using both self-care and self-respect, one day, self-love may be attainable.
5 Ways to Show Self-Respect Respect
On days when you compare yourself or focus on things you want to change about yourself, self-love feels fake. An alternative mentality on days like this is practicing self-respect. Find out how to practice self-respect with easy tips and habits below.
1. Be Honest With Yourself
Being honest with yourself is key to self-respect. Don’t try to avoid your feelings, even if they are negative. Be honest with your wants and needs and allow yourself to feel emotions when they occur. The important part is not to linger in negativity or dwell on it. When we are honest about our negative thoughts we are more likely to overcome them. We’re all part of a society and experience the pressure to perform an act in certain ways. This makes us want to avoid our negative feelings. However, let yourself feel them, with no judgment, that those feelings pass through you.
In fact, it can be beneficial for you to try it and analyze what made you feel negative. You can then turn your attention to doing something more productive like making a list of what you can control and learning to release what you cannot control.
2. Set Boundaries
Setting boundaries is a great way to show self-respect. This means saying no when you need to, communicating with others, and setting standards meant to protect you. When you start saying no to things you do not want to do and start saying yes to the things you want to do, you start to become more happy, funnily enough.
Setting boundaries can also mean having to sit down with the people in your life and talking about things that make you uncomfortable. Try to make a list and prepare beforehand for any reaction you might receive. Remember that boundaries are meant to protect you not harm you.
3. Acknowledge Yourself
We don’t give ourselves enough credit. It’s time we acknowledge ourselves and appreciate parts of ourselves. This is not toxic positivity. We need to acknowledge that we tend to set unrealistic standards for ourselves in many aspects of our lives. Try appreciating where you are and what you are currently doing.
This can be something as simple as patting yourself on the back when you have an extra serving of vegetables. It can be feeling gratitude that you snuck in a workout and exercise even though you didn’t feel like doing it. It can mean giving yourself a hug just for existing and getting through the day.
4. Apologize
Right about now is when we need to learn to apologize. Of course, we should apologize to other people when we do wrong, but that’s not what I mean. We need to apologize for the way we speak about ourselves. Instead of using negative language such as I hate my thighs, I’m horrible for not working harder, I wish I were different, we need to learn how to change those phrases.
Apologize to yourself and start using phrases such as thick thighs save lives, my body holds energy to fuel me, I am doing my best, I do not have to change right now, I’m allowed to take my time learning and growing.
5. Practice Mental Wellbeing Habits
At the end of the day, sometimes we need to utilize mental health tools. Aside from seeking professional help when you really need to, there are a couple of mental habits that you can start using daily to improve your self-image and inner talk.
Things such as a daily meditation habit can have huge benefits, a lot of which are discussed here. Meditation changes the brain and allows us to increase our self-awareness and reduce our emotional reactivity and negativity. Start practicing some simple mental habits for just 5 minutes a day and watch how your inner world starts to change.
The Takeaway
Self-love can be challenging, so sometimes we simply need to reach for self-respect. When we start acknowledging our worth just by existing, we start to do things that provide happiness and joy. Eventually, these thoughts and actions can lead to self-love, which is the goal at the end of the day. In the meantime, practice self-respect and feel proud that you have gotten as far as you have. Know that life is a journey and we are all works in progress.
Remember that health comes from within. Eat nutritious food, exercise when you can, and take care of your mental health. The small daily habits you cultivate become the basis for overall wellness. Don’t forget about microbiota health too! Gut microbiota affects the entire body, from the skin to muscles, to immune and mental health! Get all the resources you need about microbiota health for free here!
